Hamda - 2

Hamda grew into a young lady, around the age of 17 yet she would cry her self to sleep every single night. Day by day her thoughts took over her , she believed she wasn't worth living. She disgusted herself. She forgot how it felt to be happy. Over time she got into the habbit of self-harming and starving her self. All she could think about was slitting her wrists, it became an abnormal addiction.


Hamda locked herself up in her room, she stopped going to school for a few weeks, and by thar she was slowly killing and destroying herself. insomnia and bulimia took over causing anarexia .. and she just let it happen, she kept telling herself that she wasnt worth living in this world and so her illnesses continued to destroy her precious soul. She hoped the next few weeks or so might as well be the end of her life in this choatic world.


Her adoptive parents knew about her absence in school and how depressedand miserable she felt although they couldn't care less. They werebitter and cold. No one knew why they were like that..


Hamda always wondered to her self,
If they didnt want to take care of me, then why adopt me? 
Why make me more miserable than i already am? but then again she thought..
Oh right i deserve this.. i deserve this because im not good enough and i am not worth anything


Hamda also wondered about her bestfriend, 
she wondered how her 7moodi was 
she hoped he wasnt in the same state as she was
she hoped he was happy and found a safe place to stay and to be loved and cared for
but she desperatly wanted her 7moodi, she cried to see him just once more
she wanted to feel happy again.. 
and she knew he was the only one in this world who could make her happy again..
but deep down her heart ached thinking if he even remebers her.



For many weeks hamda stayed in her dark depressing room crying, remembering how happy she was as a child when her parents were once alive when she had Mohammed. Although by now she stopped hoping and wishing for those days to return, not only because she knew it was completely impossible for that to happen but simply because she didnt care. she didnt care at all. She convinced herself that she was worthless in people's eyes.

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i hope you enjoyed this post x

- Z